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The Pattern, Ctd...

I forgot about the next step in the pattern... they come back. The reason for this is because the person who leaves gains nothing from doing so. All they do is feel bad. And I'm still available to them, so it would take an awful lot of self-control not to return to me.

D stayed away for 30 hours, and then showed up on my doorstep with roses during his lunch break. It was translucently obvious that there was more for him to gain from staying with me than cutting away. All he learned was that he's intensely in love with me. He didn't actually want to get over me. Whether he knows it or not, this was a bluff. What is does do, however, is create a trust issue; I can't be sure of when he'll do this again and that tends to start slowly stripping off layers of attachments to him... in self-preservation. When this happened with S, the trust issue was paramount... because D came back so quickly, it's much less debilitating.

This step in the pattern is avoidable; if you want to avoid it: you must not talk to me. Every time you talk/text/im with me you will be reminded of what you are missing, and that you could easily have it again. If you pretend that I don't exist, then there is nothing to return to.

Next in the pattern, will likely take one of two routes: He'll start regularly dropping hints about his displeasure with the current situation... or he'll make more "stands" or displays of attempted forced decision-making on my part. He has essentially taken the decision that was his and put it upon me. S did the same thing... and I eventually left him.  I am assuming will take option 1... in fact he's already started. 

So the question: why did I get back together with D if I don't necessarily plan on giving him the monogamous relationship he requires? Because I wasn't finished. See reference to my previous post about this. I need to know if the poly/mono discrepancy is the only thing that incompatible between us. In addition... depo has been screwing me up and I'm not fit to make any decisions right now. See the next post about that...


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polygoodgirl
Poly Good Girl

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About Me:

Age: Twenties
Work: Community College Instructor
Education: B.Sc.
Pets: 3 Cats
Home: 3bdr House, Co-habitating with A
Hobby: Dancing
Specs: 5'1"/110/34-25-36
Status: 1 Primary, 1 Tertiary (LD)
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